stories

Apr 12, 2009

Without the time machine, I would not have known how sanitized Mel Gibson’s version of Easter really was. Canceling trip to the Nativity.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Apr 12, 2009

I loved chocolate bunnies until I found out that humans aren’t the only species that enjoys deciding what to bite off first.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

May 6, 2009

That fishy bitch stole my husband so I gave her back her magic comb. Let’s see him raise eight screaming mer-babies on his own.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

May 14, 2009

I’ve been haunting this frat house for ten years. I need some buddies to make the afterlife interesting. Time for rush week.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

May 25, 2009

Three of spades, Queen of clubs, Jack of...knives? What’s this doing h—

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Jun 21, 2009

Usually there’s not enough sunlight for the throbbing, mottled eggs to hatch; but today, the longest day of the year, there’s just enough.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Jun 28, 2009

I knew that if you wrote someone’s name on the walls of Green Man Tunnel, they’d die. I didn’t think tagging it with your own name counted.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Aug 28, 2009

Her pneumatic fingers caress my cheek. “You built me this hand. I’ve been wanting to try it out.” Cold and oily, it closes around my neck.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Sep 12, 2009

Everyone dreads growing up to become their mother; that’s why I study adult genetic alteration with my three hundred identical sisters.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Oct 30, 2009

Darling, you may have summoned me, but you can’t possibly hope to control me. Now where’s the orphanage? I’m famished.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Nov 11, 2009

Until Veterans’ Day, I had no idea I was in an alternate dimension. What a shock to find our country’s flag flying in red, white, and blue.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1

Dec 12, 2009

Clipping articles, easy peasy, fold and tear and tack to the wall. Clipping tattoos, not so simple.

Amanda C. Davis @davisac1