stories

Dec 29, 2008

Bad men chipped my brane. Voices sed shoot the prez. But I founded ice pick and gave mysef la bottle me. See clearer now with just one I.

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark

Feb 11, 2009

Ten years ago, the first pterodactyls were cloned. Six years ago, PETA freed fledglings. Today, my car wash businesses is booming. Heads up!

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark

Mar 24, 2009

Love unrequited, Vlad went on a bender. He drank a Miller, a Pink Lady, then drained six Brandies, straight up, before calling it a night.

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark

Mar 25, 2009

“I wish humans hadn’t screwed up the environment,” Ann said. Burt cleaned his antenna. “Yeah, Grandpa said they made a helluva meal ticket.”

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark

Jun 23, 2009

They met online, a result of a typo. After WoW, they decided to meet IRL. After meeting IRL, and a night of wow, they became asterisks.

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark

Oct 31, 2009

On All Hallows Eve, my Jack-o’-lanterns guttered with sentience. To celebrate, I set out cake-n-candles. As one, they blew their brains out.

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark

Nov 8, 2009

A poet diddled with irradiated ink. Post paper-cut, his editor, aglow with new-found sensibilities, sent rejections, submissions unopened.

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark

Apr 27, 2010

William T. Vandemark has A) All of the Above. B) Hit his head. C) Tripped over his shoelace D) Fallen into a temporal causality loop.

William T. Vandemark @wtvandemark